Balance is a myth. There, I said it out loud.
To many, this is heresy. But let me say it again: "There is no such thing as achieving balance in one's life." It cannot be done. Balance is a concept constructed as an ideal in theory, but as a self-defeating concept in reality. It allows us to be diminished because the standard by which we are comparing ourselves is unattainable. We are defeated before we begin. This is especially true for women who are culturally set up to fail by a society that demands we be perfect mothers, wives, executives, soccer moms, business owners and human beings – all at once.
Allow me to tell you what you can and do have. You have choice. You can make choices that will either positively or negatively affect you. Or, you can decline to make a choice, and that in itself becomes the choice.
I was watching a gemologist weigh a diamond on a scale recently. On one side he had a weight and on the other he would place the diamond. Although I had seen this many times before, this is the first time that I really considered that the balance shifted from side to side, depending on what was placed on the scale. I know that sounds obvious, but think about this for a minute. The weight was the standard of measurement. The diamond was being weighed. When something was removed from the jewel dish, the weight became the heavier side. When something was added it shifted the heaviness to the jewel side. I began to think that this is what occurs for all of us, given any day, even any one moment.
There are times when we are required to meet deadlines, or we must do more than normal to meet someone else's needs. We may have set a career goal for ourselves that requires more time and dedication. Perhaps our desire to own or grow a successful company means putting other parts of ourselves on hold. We choose. We shift the weight from one area to the other. It is usually for a limited amount of time. Then, the cause of this imbalance (which is really a choice) is resolved or removed and we shift our attention back to ourselves or to other areas in our life. Again, over the course of a day, month, or year, this balancing act moves from one side to the other, depending on what is required of us.
What we control are the options placed on the scale, how long it remains, and at what point it is removed. Although, at any given moment, we may not be in "balance" over the course of time, our conscious choices can give us the ability to shift our attention and energy, as needed. We don't tolerate what doesn't serve us. The idea is to set boundaries around what we will or will not add to our side of the scale. And, we determine those boundaries based on what we value. At any point, there may be a need to adjust within our immediate requirements with the intention of resolving it and bringing ourselves back into "balance."
Life happens and there are times when we are required to give more than we normally would. But, if you choose with self-awareness and consider your personal well-being and goals, you can remain both healthy and productive.
Balance, as defined by our ideology, is myth. Choice is real.
